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A New Year of Lying to Myself... In Song!! Transcript

  [Thomas]: What's this? 2016 has evolved into 2017! Or devolved. . . We don't know yet. We're gonna find out together. *logo* [Thomas]: What is up, everybody?! Welp, another year has come and gone. So long, 2016! And you know, despite all the cruddy things that happened during this past year, I have to be thankful for all the things I was able to accomplish. I got to hang out with the Teen Titans. *vine* [Greg Cipes]: (Beast Boy voice) Teen Titans? [Thomas]: Hi. You guys live in a secret base? [Greg Cipes]: Totally secret, bruh. [Thomas]: Then why is it a building shaped like a gigantic T? [Greg Cipes]: Didn't think about that. . . [Thomas]: No, you didn't. *different vine* [Khary Payton]: (Cyborg voice) BOO YAHH!!!! [Tara Strong]: (Raven voice) Azarath metrion ZINTHOS! [Thomas]: So cool! So, Robin, what can you do? [Scott Menville]: (Robin voice) I can say, TITANS GO!!! Yeah? [Thomas]: Great... *back to video* [Thomas]: I got really obsessed with Hamilton, and the...

Taking on Anxiety with Lilly Singh!! Transcript

  [Thomas]: Hey, I’m Thomas and I don’t give a *bleep*. I take them. I said fork, why was that bleeped? *logo* [Thomas]: What is up, everybody? So, I don’t know what it is right now, maybe it’s because it’s this time of year, or maybe because I’m back home with friends, but strangely at this moment, I am actually feeling quite relaxed… [???]: Hey. [Thomas]: WHAT THE HECK?! [???]: Oh, I’m sorry, was I not wanted at this exact second? [Thomas]: Oh, for crying out loud… Okay. Everyone, please welcome... my anxiety. [Anxiety]: Sup! [Thomas]: I don’t get it. I was just making a YouTube video. There is literally nothing to be anxious about. [Anxiety]: Aren’t those the best times for me to show up? [Thomas]: I even was saying how relaxed I was feeling. [Anxiety]: Ah, but that’s when you start wondering why you do feel all relaxed. You don’t usually feel this way, so what are you doing different? What are you doing wrong? What are you forgetting to do? [Thomas]: Okay, stop it, stop it! [An...

Way Too Adult Transcript

  [Thomas]: Hi, my name is Thomas Sanders and yes, I have worn this shirt for the fifteen millionth time. LET’S MOVE ON! *logo* [Thomas]: WHAT IS UP, EVERYBODY?! So, like many other people in America, I’m getting ready for that magnificent Thursday that comes around every year where we gather round the table with our family, avoid conversation pertaining to politics and my lack of a significant other, and gorge ourselves on more food than we would ever naturally eat any other day of the year. -gasp- That was one breath. Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is what I was referring to. I don’t know if any of you were confused. This year, however, will be just a bit different. I shall be the only one of the four brothers there. So naturally, my dad has asked me to help cook the meal. Here’s the thing though, I still don’t really know how to cook. [Dad]: WHAT?! Okay, I’ve had enough of this. [Thomas]: Umm... My dad character. What are you doing here? I had you here last time to help represent my...